Even Steven

No, I am not referring to Shia Labeouf's breakout performance back many years ago. I am referring to, of course, the weight loss. SO... I had a pretty intense weekend.  Pretty intense = ate some foods not on the approved list.  However, I feel really good about it because the weight is now holding steady.  I didn't loose, but I didn't gain. 
I am learning to be OK with this. I am learning that this is going to be a slow process.  It is ok if it takes a year or two years...or even 5 years to get down to my goal weight.  It will come off eventually.
I am learning who I am.  For years, I hated myself.  I felt as if nothing about me had value.  It was all wrapped up in how much I weighed. The more I weighed, the worse I felt about me.  Conversely, for a while, the less I weighed the better I felt about me and my self esteem was now on that foundation. Still the same addiction, just in reverse. 
I am learning to like me regardless of how much I weigh.  This is a new journey for me.  Something that will take time and take work.  But I am learning to be OK with who I am and even learn to love myself. 
The weight will come off. I am understanding THAT will be the easy part.  The self esteem, the mental work will be the hardest.  Im up for the work!