Have you ever been really happy? I mean really, really happy? Like all things are perfect, life is good and you have an amazing new outlook on living? Those moments, at least for me, have been few and far between. Don't get me wrong. Some things in life are good all the time. Either things are good in our marriage, or financially, spiritually and even physically, but few times do things seem to be good in ALL areas of life all at the same time. Well, I was there...a few days ago.
Things were going really well and the weight was coming off. A new perspective of myself is starting to form and I am not just the "fat guy" any more. I am discovering that there is more to me than just weight. That in itself helps to open up the other aspects of life. In fact, last Saturday my wife and I laid in bed thinking of the things "skinny people" do, and realizing that I might be able to do that soon.
Also, I had a good meeting with a pastor at a church I go to that helped put things in perspective and things are going pretty well for us in those other areas mentioned earlier.
And then Tuesday....
Tuesday, I jumped on the scale with expectations to meet my 100 lbs goal. That didn't happen, in fact, gained a pound.. uh oh
Wednesday, I jumped on the scale with expectations to go down some. That didn't happen, in fact I gained a pound. Uh oh
Thursday, I jumped on the scale with expectations to go down some. That didn't happen, in fact I gained TWO pounds. Enough is enough. I called the doctor.
The nurse then told me this is pretty normal. And I am gaining back some of the water weight. Also, I started freaking out and eating hardly anything. This put my body in a "starvation" period and kept the fat on. Whew, crisis diverted.
So, what did I learn?
My happiness and "how good life was" as depending on how much weight I have lost. I SWORE I would never be a calorie counter, but for 3 days I was and that took me to a very dark place. Not that counting calories is wrong, but being obessed with something that intensely and being let down when it didn't happen was. I learned that my happiness can't depend on what the scales say. It can't be determined by how loose my pants are. It is determined by what I do with the things that happen in my life. It is determined by what I let myself do. At least this is what I say when...
Friday, I jump on the sales with expectations to go up some. That didn't happen, in fact I lost .02 lbs. Oh boy.
Life is good.
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Hey JT, keep working at it. everyday is an adventure and everyday is something new. I'm proud of you keep it up buddy. I can't imagine how hard it is to see that number on the scale jump up instead of go down, but It's like your Dr. said your body needs to recover there will be up's and downs. The important thing is that you have taken the steps to get things under control, now it truly is just a matter of time and you will be doing all those things that "skinny people" do.
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